I find myself being torn. I love him, I know it and he knows it. But HE does not know the extent, the pain that I feel on the inside that sometimes scares me while I'm sleeping. How my heart lets out sharp pains when I think of the SHE that he will not allow me to know of. He will not let me go, and for this I am grateful, for this I am pained deeply. Last night, like many others, I fell asleep thinking about him, I dreamed of him, and I woke to find myself crying over him. You call me your number one, he calls me his number two... I would rather the situation be reversed...
Love I have tried to rid myself of him, but HE will not let me go, as I cannot let him go. HE needs me, as I need you. I love him, as you love me. I am sorry  that I cannot tell you this in person, but I do not wish to hurt you more than I need to... I must end it now, before you wind up like me.
I will forever love him, and he will forever use me. Please hate me as you will, for hate cannot hurt as much as the love that I will be denied from 74.